Learning to Trust Your Self

Trust. It’s as hard to give out as it is to accept, surprisingly. Many people who are in a position of trust self-sabotage themselves out of an innate fear they’re going to fail the people who are trusting them. Trust is a prickly thing and can be very difficult, or at least it seems that way.

But what if trust were actually something soft and gentle and glowing golden and pure?

I recently saw a saying about trust:

A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. And what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games!

A rather modern and poignant way to see it, to be sure, but is it any less true?

Trust is critical when it comes to people and the relationships we have or are seeking. In order to be trusted, we need to know what trust is, and to trust ourselves. This isn’t as easy as it sounds, but is a big hurdle we must overcome on our path to being our best selves.

Never trust a naked man offering you a shirt – African saying

Out of hand we want to trust anybody. But how do you trust someone offering you something they do not have themselves? Thus it becomes obvious that if we want to trust others, we need to understand what it means to trust from the inside out. From inside of ourselves to the outside world.

Some would wonder what it means to not trust yourself. What does that look like for some people? Sometimes it’s giving in to vices, over indulging. We know what’s good for ourselves, but we don’t trust ourselves around temptation like sweets or alcohol. We avoid, we ignore, we put on blinders to the very things that challenge us, because we’re afraid to trust ourselves to be strong.

Sometimes a lack of self trust turns up as being submissive to the will and wants of others. We don’t trust ourselves when it comes to what we could or want to do, so we turn to others. We might over-extend ourselves in helping others, in an effort to ignore the fact we don’t trust ourselves with our own time. We might take on extra tasks, or do things only for the intent of pleasing others, because we don’t want to be left alone with what we fear will be an emptiness or void of ‘things’ in our own private lives.

Trusting ourselves is critical. It’s not easy, but it’s ever so important. How do we learn to trust ourselves though, when sometimes people have focused so much on others, on externalizing distrust or making it impossible for us to experience our own faith and trust in ourselves?

One of the first building blocks to self trust could be taking time to meditate, to sit alone with our thoughts, to be alone with ourselves. How can you trust yourself if you don’t ‘know’ yourself? And how can you know yourself if you’re always seeking the thoughts and opinions of others on the outside?

Getting to know ourselves can be frightening. But guess what? You really can’t hurt yourself. You really do have a natural state of bliss waiting for you to discover. And you really do have a lot of self love to give, even if you’re terribly afraid to do take a look.

It’s not easy to sit alone with yourself when you’ve been avoiding your own self for years, maybe even decades. But believe it or not, you can do it. And it all begins with simply sitting. You might need to find some time between chores or work you’ve taken on that you have decided is the most important thing in the world. It can wait. It might be taking a few minutes in between one load of laundry and another. The clothes can wait as well, and so can the dust and the dishes and the paperwork and the assignments.

Nothing is more important than you, than getting to know yourself. And when you’re ready to start to know that importance, you might just be ready to start developing self trust.

Get to know the wonderful person you are. See that there is NOTHING wrong with you, with the silence that comes from listening to yourself. And know that if anything comes up that does frighten you, that does scare or torment you, it’s a passing thought, a fly buzzing around your nose that will go away if you let it.

Relax. Breathe deeply. And trust yourself.

Out of all the people in the world, you are the one who wants what’s best for you the most, whether or not you believe it just yet. You will. So trust yourself. Trust your self. Then, when you have begun to trust yourself, you will find how much easier it is to trust other people.

Basic Reiki Supplies

When you’re going to offer Reiki to people, whether it’s in an office space or in the comfort of your home or theirs, you’re going to need a few supplies. Some supplies are going to be specific to each type of Reiki session you give, be it a short or long session, in a professional or less formal setting. Some of the supplies will stay standard for any sort of Reiki you want to give on a more professional level.

To begin with, you’re going to need a space. This space can be a small cubicle office that you might rent in a spa or massage therapy office from another health practitioner. The space can be big enough for a massage table, and needs to allow you access to the head, feet and at least one side of the client or person you’re going to be working on. Remember all of your hand positions as well as the need for space for prayer, for setting intention into the room or space, and for doing Byosen scanning; keep these things in mind when considering the space you will require.

You will want both you and your client to be comfortable. Remember to wear clothing that suits your spiritual nature as well as helps you maintain a good comfort level while practicing healing on another person. You may feel sweaty if you wear too heavy of clothing in a small space. You may feel cold if you wear too light of clothing in an unheated space. Keep in mind where you will be and consider dressing in layers so you can remove or add on when the temperature changes. Let your client know that they will be climbing onto a massage table or sitting in a chair that leans back, so they can prepare and be comfortable as well. Let them know if you intend to remove their footwear for certain hand positions. Giving them warning helps them feel more relaxed when they arrive, so the healing can begin.

It’s important to set intention not only spiritually but also physically too. Do you want candles? Do you want incense? Or do you want a scent free environment? Do you want soothing and low lighting? Do you want music? Decide these things before you offer Reiki, so you can be prepared to do Reiki whenever you are called. You may want to make a Reiki duffle bag that contains some candles, some incense cones or sticks, and a ceramic or stone incense holder. You’ll want a lighter or matches that don’t give off a smell and overpower the good aromas you’re trying to create. You may want to include a lamp in your bag; there are many small colour changing and softly lit battery operated lamps that easily fit into a bag.

The Reiki Ready-t0-Go Bag

These are items you might include in a bag that you keep prepared by your doorway, for when you are called to do Reiki:

  • A good canvas duffle bag that is water proof, slightly firm but also flexible, and light weight, with good supporting straps for the shoulder or good hand grips
  • Candles. Two pillar candles or four taper candles will do. Be thoughtful of the size, scent and type of light candles give off before choosing which to put into your bag
  • Candle holders. If your candles are pillars, small candle plates are best. If you are using tapers, choose taller candle holders and keep in mind that wax can stain. You don’t want to leave wax marks at a client’s house or in an office that isn’t yours.
  • Incense cones or sticks. Be mindful of fire alarms and the sensitivity of sprinkler systems, as well as what is allowed in any indoor building in your city or province. Small wisps of smoke usually do not set off fire alarms but speak to the other professionals in an office before lighting them to see if it’s an accepted practice or welcomed at least.
  • Incense holder. Try to choose a ceramic fire-proof holder that you can trust. Cones sit directly on the incense holder, unlike sticks, so the holder must be able to withstand the heat of an incense cone’s coal. Incense holders for sticks need to catch the ash or coal as it falls, so that no mess is left behind for others.
  • Lighter or matches. Some matches give off a scent, as do some lighters when they are lit. Be mindful of how these might overpower the scent of other nicer things.
  • Blankets. It’s been said that sometimes when people are getting healing Reiki energy, or having their chakras realigned or their chi lines cleared, they can take a chill. It’s important that a client be able to relax and feel as comfortable as possible while this is happening. Providing a blanket for over the table or chair is part of preparing a space, but also having a blanket to put over the client is nice too. Some healers like to wear a shawl or small shoulder blanket themselves to be comfortable. Blankets that are nice and soft are preferred, and it’s possible to wash them without fabric softener or overly fragrant detergents. The act of tucking a client’s blanket under their chin can be very comforting.
  • The bed or table. Not every practitioner has to purchase a massage table. There are many alternatives, from dentist chairs to arm chairs to ‘lazy boy’ overstuffed rocking chairs to various mats that can be laid out on the floor to create a comfortable space for a client to rest. Remember that Reiki is a Japanese stress relief technique, so you’ll want to provide the chance for your client to feel as comfortable as possible; you want their bodies to be supported, their head and limbs supported, and for them to be able to relax and lay flat and straight as possible so they can receive the Reiki that is coming to them in the best and most relaxed state. Remember your hand positions and that you need to be able to access the head, the feet and at least one side of your client.
  • Music. Setting the atmosphere of a room or space is critical. In order to provide the best and most relaxing space possible, you want to offer your client every chance to let go of their stress and their worries. Music can help take a person someplace else than where they are, which is what so many people need. The type of music you play for a client may change client to client, or may be specific to your style of spirituality and healing. You may enjoy drums from the Middle East, or the drumming from North American Indian powwows. You may prefer chanting or mantras with chimes or tones. You may purchase music that has a bell dinging every three to five minutes to help you remember when to change hand positions. Sometimes, natural sounds like ocean waves or bird or whale song can help transport a client to the place they need to go. Choose a good music that you feel comfortable with to put into your bag, but also consider creating a mix of songs that you can change according to the situation. Also keep in mind that a session can go from anywhere around thirty minutes to two hours, and you would hate to stop your healing or move a hand position because you have to adjust the music. Look for long playing melodies that transition smoothly from one song to the next.
  • Accessories and Decorations. While the least of things you may want to put into your bag, having a few token items that draw you towards them spiritually can help YOU set the right intention for your healing. Keep in mind that you want to be able to feel comfortable, safe and welcomed in any space you are going to practice Reiki and healing. Having an icon such as a fertility goddess, or a chakra chart, or a small gong with chimes can help you feel more at home. The more relaxed and natural you feel, the easier it will be to channel Reiki for your client.

There are lots of different extras that can go into your bag, like posters and notes on hand positions and things that are poignant and symbolic to you or to your clients. Choose the items carefully and remember that if they go into your Reiki bag, they may not be available at a more permanent space. They become part of your Reiki travel package, and may only be used for certain clients.

Remember that everything that happens is supposed to happen, everything is exactly as it is meant to be – and it is good!